Being a mother, becoming a doula, knitting, charity and the life that happens in-between.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Minor identity crisis.

I have to admit it, out loud, so people can hear . . . I am having an identity crisis.

For over 10 years I have worked in the non-profit sector, and other than being off on maternity leave with my two boys I have never not been working. Since my time at my last position ended I have been looking for something else in the field, but wondering if there is something else out there that I could and would do outside the non-profit field. While I love it and the fullfillment it brings it is trying, means weekends and nights sometimes and really puts a bit of a strain on my family when I cannot leave things at work.

Then there is the part of me that is a mother, the part that wants to be able to build a practice as a doula and someday a childbirth educator, the lady who knits hats for babies around the world who are not as lucky as most of the ones born here, possibly a better photographer? There is the part of me that is a wife, that would love to be more organized at home (but is never really good at it), and being able to support my husband in what he is doing in his career.

I don't feel like myself when I'm not working, it's not a validation thing but it is just that I've always done it, but this time off while searching for something new, something better, something that fits my family has thrown me off more than usual.

So what do I do? Any advice? I could use some right now.

1 comment:

Angela said...

Oh Barb!! I sooo feel your pain! I went through a major identity crisis when the twins were just over a year old! I wasn't working and missed having something for myself, something other than being a Mother that defined me. I love being the one to raise my kids, but I loved taking university classes and I loved scrapbooking, and I just felt for the longest time that I was missing out on something that completed me. That's when I really started writing again... for me, and I am not sure if it is the same for you, I found the thing that brought me some inner peace, the thing that I always loved... I think it is normal what you are feeling. Some people believe that being a mother should just complete you, but there is a balance to everything in life. Being a mother and wife is not the ONLY thing that makes up who I am. Sometimes what first seems like a negative in our life, can sometimes turn out to be a positive. Maybe moving out of the non-profit sector will bring you new adventures, new definition to who you are! And those things like knitting, and being a doula, those are big parts of YOU! They have to work into the equation! Everything in your life makes you who you are, not just one thing, so don't try to take too much on, but don't try to fit yourself into a neat little box! You are better than the box!! xoxo